7 surprising strategies on how to Deal with the Cheater
Am sure you are reading this blog because you are wondering how to deal with the cheater- your spouse. Perhaps you discovered that he is cheating on you. There is no doubt you feel stressed and confused.
Being cheated on is an awful feeling which can lead to depression. First, know that you are not alone. It happens to nearly all couples at least once in their marriage. Give yourself time and you will certainly heal. However, your recovery process will depend on how you deal with the cheater.
It’s good when you learn how to heal from the shock, irrespective of whether you will rebuild the relationship or end it.
When a partner becomes unfaithful it is a clear indicator that the person is not worthy of a healthy relationship.
However, if he asks for forgiveness then the relationship may turn out to be better than it was. Nevertheless, you will need to be patient as it will take time.
How Best Do You Deal With the Cheater?
Being betrayed by your partner can make your instincts feel like taking revenge. You may also desire to talk ill about him to your friends or on social media. Contrary to your thoughts, deal with the cheater more soberly.
Before making any decision on what to do it’s good to first ask yourself the following questions;
- Does he look remorseful?
- has he ever cheated before?
- Is he willing to leave his side partner?
If the answers to the above questions are yes, then it will be good to give the relationship a second chance. Focus more on building the relationship rather than breaking it.
It’s your right to be in a faithful relationship. If your partner is not willing to change, then it will be better to end the relationship. Read more from my previous post on the steps to use in ending the relationship here.
It’s always good for you to follow the following steps to act maturely and with a lot of integrity.
1. Accept Your Feelings.
it’s normal to initially feel shocked and depressed. The first step to dealing with the cheater is taking a deep breath and allowing yourself to cry or scream.
Crying will help you to release tension while allowing you to come to terms with the situation. You will now be able to deal with the situation more realistically.
- What is the secret to quick recovery?
You may have some physical reactions due to stress such as diarrhea, loss of appetite, or insomnia. This is normal and should not weigh you down.
Irrespective of how difficult it might be, try to eat healthy foods, exercise, and sleep regular hours. This is the first secret to your quick recovery.
Secondly, find a close friend to talk to. However, be careful when deciding on whom to talk to because not every friend is trustworthy. Deal with the cheater in a more reserved way.
You wouldn’t want a situation where everyone looks at you whenever you pass. Right? Some friends may spread your relationship problems to every Tom and Dick hence hurting you even more.
2. Stay Calm and Gather Information.
This is the second step when you want to deal with the cheater more maturely. As long as you are still together with him, it will be easy to gather the much-needed information about his infidelity.
Continue monitoring his whereabouts and attitudes. Although it might be difficult, to find out the frequency of his contact with the other woman.
Do not overreact or do anything you may regret later. Equally, don’t hang around the person who gave you the information but instead ask her to give you some space to be alone.
Nevertheless, Keep your kids out of this. Don’t share details of his affair with them since it will cause them anxiety. Remember they are young and will not understand marriage issues.
- Deal with the cheater, leave the Other Woman
Regardless of the pain, don’t waste your energy on her demanding that she leave your husband alone. She is not worth your time and energy.
Instead, focus on dealing with the cheater specifically. Harassing or threatening her will unquestionably put you on the wrong side of the law.
3. Re-evaluate the Relationship
Never make a hasty decision. Leaving your husband should be the last resort. Give yourself enough time to think over the relationship. Evaluate to determine whether it’s worth giving it a second trial. As long as he is still there, you still have a chance to rebuild it if it’s worth it.
4. Communicate with your partner
It’s time to discuss the affair with your partner to move forward in your relationship. Communication is the key to a good relationship.
However, don’t confront him without enough proof. Following that cheaters always lie, and he will deny it.
First and foremost, present the evidence you have, such as SMS or any other physical evidence. Secondly, find out why he cheated on you.
- Reasons For His Infidelity?
Cheating is not always for sex. It could be a symptom of other problems in your marriage which include;
- Seeking an emotional connect
- Troubled marriage
- Mental illness such as depression
- Family background of the cheater, whereby the father is polygamous etc.
Men may cheat on their wives as a result of the above problems. Read more on what men want from my other post. It will be good if he tells you why he cheated. Deal with the cheater more politely even though he doesn’t deserve it.
Generally, affairs thrive in secrecy. Just telling him you know about it might be enough to end the affair.
If he is willing to, let him explain how it started, how long it’s been going on, and how he intends to end it.
Unquestionably, request that he cut off all communication with the third party. You have a right to a faithful relationship. He is not doing you a favor by being faithful to you.
Secondly, third parties need to be out of the picture for the relationship to work. It may not be easy especially if the person is someone your partner meets daily such as a co-worker.
However, if he is unwilling to cut off any contact with her, then it may be a sign that he is unwilling to stop.
5. Deal With the Cheater by Setting boundaries.
Set limits for your relationship with outsiders to avoid future conflicts. Re-establishing the lost trust is not easy, therefore, ask him to make his whereabouts known to you.
If the third party continues to pursue your husband then the two of you may decide to pursue a restraining order to keep her away.
6. Forgive Him
Following that, true forgiveness and healing take time, your partner needs to understand that you are too hurt to forgive him as of now.
Don’t let your family know of your husband’s affair yet. They may not understand what you are going through.
Moreover, they may draw a bad picture of him which may be difficult to delete long after you have settled your issues.
7. Seek Counselling- Best Way to Deal With a Cheater
Finally, talk to a marriage counselor who will help you gain insight into what exactly happened. This will help you deal with the cheater without anger.
He will also help you deal with your painful emotions with a lot of integrity. In essence, you will also be in a position to recognize when the relationship is not working.
Conclusion-how to deal with the cheater
Cheating can be an emotionally devastating experience. It requires one to act with a lot of calmness.
No matter how you decide to deal with the cheater, regular exercise and a balanced diet will calm you down and keep you healthy as well.
It’s also important that you stay clean and neat. Additionally, Sleep regular hours and take plenty of water to hydrate yourself. Give yourself time and you will get healed.
